I have had the past few Sundays off from both jobs. A new routine has developed: church in the morning and Starbucks in the afternoon. I decided to attend church not to find God or establish a faith in any religion, but rather gravitated to a place where I could possibly listen to some words of guidance and maybe grasp a sense of direction.
Starbucks is my home away from home. I can sit there and people-watch all day, with my iTouch plugged into my ears and an invisible bubble around me and my table and chair next to the window.
Today, I sat there thinking about all the realities I have been faced with this year. All the misfortunes, and all the uncertainties to come. I went to church this morning in hopes that I could clear my mind, only to find out about another misfortune. Without hesitation, I put my name on the bone marrow registry today. Jodie is such a kind, and wholesome person. She deserves to live; her family deserves to have her in their lives. The least I could do is have my cheeks swabbed in hopes that I am a match. Though the likelihood of that is one in a million.
I miss the carefree days of being in school, when my only real responsibility was to bring home decent grades, which I barely managed to do post-10th grade. Now, I am faced with real world challenges and obstacles. This 'recession' is not going away. And for the first time in my life, I fear for my future that I have no control over. I heard about all the people that were laid off at TI. And then there were all the people at Exxon. But now it is hitting harder at home. I saw it coming...and now it is here.
I am not a victim. But I refuse to be a bystander.
