fear of the future.

I have this fear that I will end up like someone I know.

One of my biggest fears in life has always been to grow up alone. Diseased or povershed, either would be bearable as long as there were others, or just one other, there beside me. But to be healthy and old, but alone...what is the point?

Accomplished at work, the personal life dwindles. At home, the drinking comes before the sleeping. At age 40+ with no family, no kids.

I do not pray, but if I did, I would pray to the highest of gods that if I am diseased and povershed, that I am dying penniless in the arms of someone that loves me.