missing from my life.

There is something that I want more and more each day. I fear that if I do not ever attain this, then my life will be incomplete. I will not consider my life full without this. Each and every day a certain aspect of this makes it more desirable. Consider it a challenge. Consider it a blessing. Consider it not a part of my life.

Living vicariously only makes it harder. If I was more grounded in religion, I would think maybe it was not meant to be. Maybe this is how it is supposed to be. But as a non-believer, I wonder if maybe I am just not as fortunate as others.

Why do I want it so bad? Why am I forced to face what I do not have day in and day out? Why is it not a part of my life?