one size does not fit all.

Dear Leasing Office Bitch,

I do not hate you because you are fat. I hate you because I partially blame you for my missing Victoria Secret Package. I blame you because you never seem to give a damn. Whether it is because you think I am a little kid unworthy of your efforts or undivided attention or because you hate your job. I hate you. I hate the way you talk. I hate the way you fix your bra strap mid conversation. I hate that you were probably responsible for my lost package and will not get off your lazy, fat ass to investigate the matter.

I know these hateful words will not bring to life my misplaced panties and bras. I know I must sound shallow and materialistic. I am just angry. Extremely angry. Again, I do not hate you because you are fat, but I do believe you would be a better person if you dropped a few hundred pounds and pretended to care.


Sincerely,

Unhappy Tenant