new kicks.

As if there were not enough shoes invading the doorway of my apartment. Now I have two more pairs to add to the mess...


Not quite sure why I bought these. They will probably get as much wear as my other pair of Chucks, which is about once every couple of weeks. Never a big fan of the laceless ones, something about this design made me want to buy them.


You want to see the receipt for proof of purchase, don't you? Ha. These shoes were bought under the influence of my sister, as she bought a brown pair. I have a weakness for Aldo shoes and thought maybe I could wear these at work? Who am I kidding, these will probably get less action than the Chucks.

make the smell go away!

One of my insecurities/fears is driving other people's cars when their car is bigger than mine. Though I did not overcome my fear, I did feel a little more comfortable driving a larger, brand new car down 121. Who the hell am I kidding. I was scared shitless, but fortunately made it to our destination safely. Next time I am going to make sure I have 12 beers instead of 2.

The real world is currently stressing me out like no other. Monetary issues, job #1 issues, job #2 issues, added responsibilities.

My DVR is back up to over 70% full. A week behind in General Hospital and several weeks behind in other shows, I fear I may not be able to catch up until my workload slows down.

Am I being punished for being patient? Sometimes I feel like I am.

I do not know who frustrates me more...the Dallas Cowboys or the damn Dallas Mavericks. Jason Kidd, you better win us a championship before your I-wish-I-was-more-black hair turns grey!

Who has never eaten hot fries until their stomach hurt? Remember Andy's Capps Hot Fries? Lately, I have been bringing hot fries back in style - eating bags at a time, in one day. Damn, those are the shit - flaming shits, that is. Best snack ever!


Ever feel like someone is eating all your pens at work? Work in a retail setting where you go through boxes of pens at a time? Having trouble keeping track of your favorite pen? Ask me about my new invention. Co-workers call it The White-Trash Pen. Brainstorming of product name will continue if I have hopes of ever marketing the item.

My latest bruise. No, it is not on my butt. Yes, it consumes over a quarter of the surface of my thigh. No, I do not remember how it happened. This is what it looks like...SEVEN days later...

My alcoholic behavior finally got the best of me. Now I can only hope to rectify any situations that may result from the evening.

As much as I thoroughly enjoy fondue, I cannot stand the smell that permeates through all my clothes and hair. I must say I despise it more than the post-pho smell. Two hours after leaving Melting Pot and two showers later, I still smell like oil and cheese. Ack.

snow in March.

Snow in Texas? In March? REALLY?!

Not just once, but twice, in one week. Outrageous.

will work for food.

Sometimes I feel like I really do work for food. My extra paychecks help to subsidize my voracious appetite. I ate two hours worth of work today for lunch.

Highly reviewed by D Magazine this past February, and absolutely adored by some that I know, Sea Breeze was a restaurant that has been on my mind for the past few months. I finally had the opportunity to sit down for good eating before work today, and I must say it was one of the best lunches ever. (Not to mention one of the most expensive lunches ever...)

Known for their Traditional New England Toasted Lobster Roll, I had no reservations as to what to order. The $13.95 roll was delicious. The lobster was perfectly sized into the New England-style buns. Though the roll, along with the side of fries, probably could have been enough to satisfy my visit, I could not leave without trying their crab cakes.

A big fan of crab cakes, I have only found one true favorite: Houston's. Sea Breeze definitely comes in a close second. What I liked most about the crab cake was that it was served on a bed of greens with balsamic vinagarette. It was heaven. And, believe it or not, the heavenly taste only cost $5.95, which I thought was quite the steal.

Maybe next time I will try their Gumbo or Clam Chowder.

The Road...Taken.

Funny how different crowds render different post ponderings. Some are more real world-focused, while others are full of nonsense and not worth pondering at all.

Can one be "too smart" for one's job? Is it considered time wasted? Are you thought of any less for not pursuing options that other's see more fit?

Chosen for the mentor/protege program this year, I will either come out more directed and determined or challenged and somewhat misguided. I will either know exactly what I want to do and what I am going to do to get there, or I will be forced to continue what I am doing until my clouded head comes out of my uncertain ass.

You do not leave the city unless you are going to be a lawyer, doctor...or pharmacist. I am pretty sure that last profession was thrown out there for me, but the last time I checked, I had no intentions of going to pharmacy school...

crush on Crush.

Now that the American Gladiators season has come to an end, Monday nights are no longer the same. This season, I fell in love with one of the Gladiators...


Not only is she the best female Gladiator, she is also fucking hot.

lean pocket.

It is about damn time. I have been eating the same Lean Pocket flavor for the past few years.

Turkey, Broccoli, and Cheese. It has always been my favorite. But favorites start to get old when you eat them all the time. Which is why it was about time for a new flavor...


I love it. It tastes just like spinach artichoke dip.

can't stop, won't stop.

It does not seem to matter how many times I say I will slow down/cut back. Work seems to consume me. Maybe not so much work itself, but the pull towards work.

Never really considered much of a right-brained person, I have grown to appreciate the arts more and more as the years pass. Music and photography.

Reading is not considered a hobby in my eyes. I do not see how someone can enjoy reading for fun. Nonetheless, I am attempting to read Newsweek Magazine on a weekly basis, as that is how they are published. I intend on fully reading the articles (3 pages or less), and in turn, hope to become more up to date on current events. We shall see how long that lasts.

Is it possible that not only two weeks later, I am itching to go back to Vegas?

No one I know really likes being criticized. At our best we acknowledge the utility of differing views, but hearing about our shortcomings is still emotionally taxing. To be reviewed and second-guessed is part of life, and a test of maturity is how well we manage the inevitable feelings of frustration and annoyance that creep in when critism starts.

My latest cooking attempt resulted in a Chili Mac Casserole...


It is official - I am heartless. I do not even shed a tear when cutting onions. Does everyone really cry while cutting onions? Because mine did not even come close to watering.

I love the fact that I do not have to "dress-up" for work. My biggest decision in the morning is which color staff shirt to wear, along with which tennis shoes to match it. What is even better is "casual day/weekends" when I get to wear my burnt orange shirt...(yes, it is really Texas orange!)


How is it that I can work almost 15 hours straight no problem, but as soon as I have 2+ hours of down-time, I get tired?

It was recently brought to my attention that Zyrtec can increase one's appetite. What the hell? If that is true, that would explain so much. Within the past 6 months, I have acquired quite the desire for food. On my long days, I can easily consume 5 full meals - Breakfast around 5 am, Lunch # 1 at 9 am, Lunch # 2 around noon, Dinner # 1 around 6 pm, and Dinner # 2 shortly after 9 pm.

inspiration.

Where do you look for inspiration?


I need to be inspired.

Gangster's Paradise.

When it comes to learning lyrics to songs, I suck. I do not have an ear for music, nor do I have the patience to listen to songs over and over again just to memorize the words. I do not have the patience, until my grade depends on it.

In 7th or 8th grade, I had a Reading teacher that thought it would be a great idea to teach her students Gangster's Paradise. Not only did she introduce the song to many, she made us all learn and recite the lyrics. How she integrated the song into that week's lesson plans, I do not remember. But I do vividly remember going around the classroom, one by one, so-called rapping the words for a completion grade.



To this day, I can still recite the song, word for word. I guess I did learn something in school...

Death ain't nothin' but a heartbeat away.
I'm livin' life do or die, what can I say.
I'm 23 now but will I live to see 24,
The way things are goin' I don't know.

They say I got to learn, but nobody's here to teach me.
IF they can't undersatnd, how can they reach me.

Good 'ole PISD at its finest.

good thing...

The other day at the drug warehouse, we processed over 340 prescriptions. That is a pretty busy day for a non-Monday. Out of the last 100 prescriptions, about one-fourth of them were for Tamiflu, be it the capsules or the liquid. It was crazy - families would come in with 4 or 5 scripts for the entire family.

Best quote of the year (thus far...): Guess the flu shot didn't work this year. Good thing I didn't get one.

Yeah, right...good thing, dumbass.

smartass.

Apparently, I am quite the smartass. So much of one that my manager has requested on several occasions to purchase a Smartass stamp (like one of our Fax or Copy stamps) so that he can use it across my forehead each and every time I say something smartass-y (which seems to be quite often...).

According to Urban Dictionary...

A person who, by means of purpose or not, uses sarcasm to have a laugh. A person who, on a regular bases, annoys the hell out of people with their sarcastic-attitude.

Someone who is sacastic, in a cutting yet witty manner. A person capable of making a remark that could be interpreted as a insult or a joke depending on the sensitivity of the listener and the specific situation. A smart ass is not necessarily a bad person just usually perceptive. ( For terms to refer to an offensive, cruel and asinine person see Jerk, Asshole , idiot, fool etc.)

Yes, I know some times my sarcasm could be taken down a notch or two, but seriously...it is all in good fun. Life would be so damn boring without smartasses. Do you not agree?

it is not a trust issue.

Never one to open up, I keep all things to myself - good and bad. Those who know me hopefully know that is how I am. Do not take it personally; it is not a trust issue. It is not that I do not trust you. It is not because the secret or thought is of sacred nature. Something as simple as, I had lunch at Olive Garden and then bought a badass pair of jeans for $60 is sometimes hard for me to share.

Your childhood shapes you. It does not determine the type of person you grow up to be, but it does lay the pieces down so that you can take a look at the possibilities of who you can be. Growing up, noone ever asked me how my day was. To say that noone cared would be presumptuous, so I will stick to the fact that the question was just never asked. Day after day events, big and small, would occur and never a second of those moments shared.

I will listen day and night, but it will take me those days and nights to share what others devulge so freely.


It is not healthy, I know. Slowly, I am working on trusting myself and painting the doors a more welcoming color.

appreciate the writers.

I still remember when reality shows first caught on. I remember wanting to find another hobby - watching TV just was not going to cut it any more. I picked up cross-stitching. Okay, I lie. But hell, I would choose cross-stitching over watching the bullshit that is reality TV. Sure enough, my television watching became non-existant. Since moving into my own apartment and paying $100 a month for cable TV and internet, I thought I would give TV-watching a try again. I sought out shows and found enough throughout the week to justify paying for cable and additionally, a DVR.

Months later, a tragedy disrupts my entire television routine. Who would have ever predicted the writers going on strike? It is a nightmare come true. As dramas and comedies slowly ran through their last few written episodes, all that was left to watch were game shows and reality shows. Just shoot me now.

Thank goodness for good quality soap operas that film 3-5 days worth each work day. Rumor has it that General Hospital is at least good through March. The bastard writers better be done bitching by then. And even if they are not, soap opera reruns may not be that bad. I have always wanted to go back in Port Charles time...witness the ever so popular Luke and Laura days.


Unfortunately, I am now all caught up on my soap and have resorted to watching almost anything. I only watched half of the first Terminator movie, and now find myself watching The Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. I gave in and watched Survivor this season. But honestly, it only peaked my initial interest because it was in China. I admit to fast-forwarding through most of it and only watching the challenges.

My channel loyalty has shifted to the CW, as it has been consistent in providing good quality (well, as good quality as teeny bopper shows go) television with cheesy as hell storylines. One Tree Hill has made its way back for a 5th season and despite Nathan's atrocious grooming issue, the show is just as good as before. In addition to One Tree Hill, CW has also put together another clever series: Gossip Girl. It is so good that I will overlook the fact that they have recently casted K-Fed on the show.



And then, of course, there is American Gladiators. But seriously, if the writers do not start writing again soon, I may see a future better spent training to become an American Gladiator contestant.

bubble bath.

I am not a bubble bath type of girl. Never have been, and never thought I ever would be. But if there were ever a night that taking a bubble bath would cross my mind...it would be tonight.

The thought of losing myself in a tub of bubbles. That is what I need.

I say I love my job - and I do. But there are times that do, in fact, drive me to drink. Lately, I have been overwhelmed with work. A fellow co-worker is on maternity leave until April, and I have been given the task of taking over her classes. What seemed like no big deal at the time, is proving to be much more work than I thought. Seems I may have taken on a little too much. And stubborn me is not good at asking for help.

(Oh, and it does not help that angry Asian men yell at me and accuse me of harrassment for no apparent reason. Stupid man.)

Though I have no idea what it is like for accountants during tax season, I can only imagine. I feel like now until April 7th will be my tax season. Three months of working day and night. Too bad my salary is no where near that of a CPA.

Friday Five.

Oh, what the hell...(I am bored and feel like writing on this thing...)

THINKING WARM THOUGHTS

1. What is your favorite hot beverage? Vanilla Americano
2. Describe your favorite hot food? New England Clam Chowder
3. What piece of clothing makes you feel warm and snuggly the moment you put it on? Any hoodie
4. Do you warm up your car on cold days? Do you run the heat all the time or just enough to defrost the windows? Yes, I warm up my car. No, I do not run the heat all the time.
5. What is your ideal warm-weather vacation spot? I do not have one.

shit, it's early.

And that, my friends, is what my alarm clock read this morning, and will read again tomorrow morning. With a co-worker on vacation, and another one on maternity leave, I have had to go to work even earlier than before. It is amazing what a difference 15 minutes makes. To be at work between 4:30 and 4:45 AM (ante meridiem), I leave my apartment around 4:20. Thankfully, I only take around 30 minutes to get ready, and I do not live far away.

What you may not realize is how much planning goes into working at such an early hour. In order to fulfill my Starbucks needs, I purchase my Iced (with no ice) Americano the night before - because the earliest any neighboring store opens is 5:00 AM. A lot of thought goes into meal preparation, as well. In addition to my morning waffles I take to go, I also scramble five eggs the night before (3 full eggs, 2 whites only). Reheating the eggs really is not as distasteful as it sounds. And then there is my 8 o'clock lunch (which if you think about it, 4 hours from the time I get to work...is lunch time). And then there is my noon lunch (because it is only natural to eat some sort of meal at this time of day). Food aside, I must also prepare my clothes for the day. Fortunately, the winters in Texas are bareable, and I only have to defrost my car once in awhile. Defrosting tacks on another 3-5 minutes in the morning.

As the time now reads 11:10 PM, I think it may be wise to start preparing for bed. This, in itself, is a challenge as I am not able to fall asleep before midnight regardless of what time my alarm is set for.

Goodnight room. Goodnight moon.

Super [shitty] Bowl.

Who the fuck wants to see the New York Giants play the undefeated Patriots in the game that decides the champion of the 2007-2008 NFL season? No one.

Sure, the Giants have won 9 (or whatever) in a row. More reason they have no chance in the Superbowl, because 10 in a row would just be unheard of.

The Packers have heart, and Brett Favre deserves to play for the ring before he has another concussion.

Give me three chances, and hell, I can make the game winning field goal, too.

If it were not for Brady, I would have absolutely no reason to watch the game.

The commercials better be damn good this year.

Honda love.

Prior to paying rent, my largest "big girl" expense was my monthly car payment. Years later, I am left with only three months' worth of payments. Three months. It will be nice having an extra $200 in my bank account each month.

On that note, lately I have been thinking about buying a new car. Everyone has heard me bitch about my car at one point or another. Whether it be the non-automatic locks ("lock your doors, please"), the non-automatic windows (thank goodness I finally decided to invest in a Tolltag), the zero to forty in what seems like 30 seconds, or all those times the curb has run into my car...everyone knows how much grief my car has given me.

Do not get me wrong, I am grateful for my car. If it were up to me, would I have chosen it? No. But I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I was in love with my first car - a hand-me-down Honda Accord. It was my love. It never got the drop or the spoiler I always wanted, but its engine won my heart...until I blew the transmission.

So, for three and a half years, I have been yearning for a Honda to fill that void.




Every one has their list of dream cars. Atop my list of the Mercedes-Benz SLK and the BMW Z4 Roadster 3.0si is the Honda S2000. But right behind them is the Honda Accord or Civic Coupe. I love the simplicity behind the car; the newer model look has completely won me over. But most of all, I love the way Hondas drive.

Knowing me, I will probably keep my Corolla for awhile. Hopefully along with a new look, my hubcaps bring take me and my car smooth sailing for awhile. All I wish for is a trouble-free car. For that, I will be grateful.

10 reasons why I work 2 jobs.

I can say to people who bitch about being tired, "Listen here, I have been working since 5 in the fucking morning and am working right now to service your whiney ass."

It is an excuse to spend 75+ dollars a month on Starbucks Coffee. (It used to be 100+ dollars...)

It keeps me out of trouble. (Well, less trouble...)

I am a workaholic. I do not get paid the big bucks; I really do enjoy working.


I have discovered a passion for drugs. (Ask me two years ago, and I would have never thought I would still be in the Rx world...)

I can wake up the next morning and find receipts adding up to a $200 bar tab and be okay with it because I know my next paycheck will cover it.

It keeps me on my feet - helps burn all the calories I consume in food and alcohol.

I can plan trips to Vegas and not feel too guilty about it. (Finally, Vegas in February!)

My full-time job alone does not help support my gluttonous lifestyle. (I am not high maintenance, I just do not hold back when it comes to food...and alcohol...)

It takes up another minute and a half of conversation when catching up with friends at so-called reunions.

spider monkey.

Finally, the much anticipated return of...the American Gladiators!



Just like the rest of America, I grew up with this show so you can only image the excitement when I heard they were coming back. Tonight's premiere lived up to the hype. Though hesitant about the new events, the competition proved to be just as good and the contestants in the first round made it even more exciting. I could not help but be proud of my people, as Venus and Mulli won. If the two of them make it to the Championship round, I may have to name my first born after them. (Do not hold your breath, little Venus will not make it past the next round, and spider monkey...well, just promise not to make fun of my child if his name is Mullivan.)

Watching the two hour episode brought back memories of the 90's when Ice and Zap were my favorite female Gladiators, and Nitro was my favorite male Gladiator. I am not sure these new Gladiators will win me over quite like the old ones did.


Mondays, 8/7 Central.

hello 2008.

No new year's resolutions this year. Not because I have no new goals set, but rather because each day I will strive to be better and do better. This statement seems vague and cliche, but it will have to do because a recited list of resolutions just does not seem to cut it. Each year the same things top my list, so either I am extremely consistent in my goals, or each year I fail at achieving the same damn things.

2007 was relatively good to me. It sure as hell beat 2006, and for that I am extremely grateful. I have a great job, in which I enjoy, the best co-workers, and a sister I love and appreciate more each and every day. Despite my headaches, I am blessed with good health and am fortunate to have the luxury of living comfortably on my own. Though things could be better, things could also be a whole lot worse.

Hello 2008.

Merry Christmas.

Someone must have thought I was somewhat of a good girl this year, because I actually had a pleasant Christmas this time around. Previous years have always been dreaded, and though this year started out no differently, it came around quite pleasantly.

Details omitted, the holidays were spent with those closest to me. It was a time of wonderful food and genuine laughter and smiles.

Starbucks is one of the ways to my heart. Thank you for all the gift cards, everyone.


Christmas Breakfast - My father makes the best crepes, ever! Mmmm!

most wanted - part 2.

Yes, part 2. Can you believe it - it happened again!

While at work, I recieved yet another peculiar phone call. This time it was the goverment trying to issue a subpoena for me to appear in court. The state was requesting my presence as a witness in court. You can only imagine my skepticism and frustration while returning this phone call.

Once again, after spending relentless minutes on the phone, I was able to convince the gentlemen that they quite possibly had the wrong person. I did not recognize the other party's name. I was not the one they were trying to contact. Again, I just happened to share the same name.

I do not know how many more instances like these I can handle.

Secret Santa.

The concept of a jolly fat man flying across the world with reindeers delivering presents while indulging in cookies and milk has always been beyond me ever since I was little. The fact that, even as adults, people play on this concept is entertaining. But hey, who am I to be a grinch.

Playing Secret Santa is always interesting because some people are spoiled by a creative, generous Santa while others are paired with a more clueless one. The great part about it all is that it reminds you that this time of year is about giving, not receiving, and above all, being thankful for everything around you.


Thank you, Secret Santa. Thank you for a fun week of candy, games, and gift giving.

from across the fucking world.

How the hell do my parents do it? From across the fucking world they can still create such problems? Seriously!

most wanted.

Apparently my life is to be spent running from the law. There is a poster with my face on it in every cop car.

As if getting pulled over and getting a ticket was not enough, I had to receive a phone call from the Denton County Deputy a day later informing me of a warrant for my arrest. You can only imagine my reaction to this...Shut the fuck up!

I immediately looked up the phone number to make sure the phone call was legit. Sure enough - Denton County Deputy Office. It was very much legit. Shit. I was wanted for a check written back in August of 2005 to Mr. Jim's pizza with insufficient funds.

I firmly explained to the Deputy that this is all beyond my league and kindly asked him to explain the logistics from the beginning. To which he replied, we can handle this one of two ways...one, I send someone to arrest you...or two, my favorite, you take care of this on your own and handle all fees owed.

Excuse me, but that implies that I am, in fact, guilty of the accused charges. So let me first explain to you that I never order pizza, and if I did, I would pay cash, not check. Secondly, I have never had Mr. Jim's in my life. Papa John's is my pizza of choice, in case you need to write that down. Thirdly, if I ever did write a check I would definitely have more than enough funds in my account - not enough to cover the cost of a pizza? Are you fucking kidding me?

A series of privacy questions followed, and an hour later he thanked me for my patience in the matter (did I have a fucking choice?) and said that he will keep in touch as he clears up the misunderstanding and finds the person he is really looking for. Same name, same date of birth.

just because you have a gun.

Just because you have a gun and your penis is smaller than your badge does NOT mean you can lecture me on my driving record.

Officer who pulled me over, all YOU need to be concerned about is the stop sign I just ran. Not the previous traffic violations, incidents, and classes I have taken in the past. Those incidents are in no way directly related to the matter at hand. You do not need to remind me of those times. You have no right to judge me. You were not there. You do not know what happened. It does not concern you.

Your job is to uphold the law so do so by writing up my damn citation and leaving me the fuck alone. It is not your job to tell me how I have wronged in the past. How dare you judge me. You see that one thing on my record and label me immediately. Someone ought to write your white ass up.

Fuck you.

worker's compensation.

Being 5'1" is dangerous, especially if you have a job which requires you to continuously reach for items on tall shelves. Inbetween each isle of drugs is a stool of some sort for me and another vertically challenged technician. While reaching for Celexa, which is atop the first isle of drugs, I had to use the assistance of a crate, our makeshift stepping stool.

On a normal day, and with cautious stepping, this crate would suffice and would help me reach the top shelves with no problem whatsoever. Yesterday, however, we were busier than our normal Sunday, and I hastily stepped onto the crate without looking. While reaching for the drug, I felt an inbalance below me and sure enough, the right side of the crate tipped, and I proceeded to fall.

The crate flipped, and I just happened to land right back on it - with my ass, and not my two feet. My right arm knocked the shelves of drugs, and bottles came falling on my head. It was disasterous.

Being the badass (and stubborn) person that I am, I shook it off and continued to work not realizing how badly I had just fallen. Little did I know that the next day I would not be able to sit on a toilet to urinate, let alone sit in a chair for eight hours at work.

Luckily, I did not fall directly on my ass, but rather somewhat to the side. It could have been a lot worse, in that I could have broken or bruised my tailbone. I still wish I could sit comfortably on the toliet though.


Above is a picture of the hand that broke my fall. The bandaid covering up flesh, as the shelf tore away some of my skin. Though you may not be able to see, it is also slightly swollen and turning a lovely shade of purple/green.


And this, my [very close] friends, is my fat, hairy ass. (I apologize for not putting a disclaimer on this entry but I figure only a few people know and visit this page.) All I have to say is...it hurts!

playlist this.

For the first time since last December, I took more than five days off work. Thanksgiving break was exactly what I needed - nothing too wild and exciting, just the right amount of fun and relaxation.

"Thank goodness you, and not some foreigner, answered the phone. What is with the foreigners there? I don't understand them. They don't understand me. And they sure as hell do not know what they are doing!" God, what would the world be like without honest and outspoken people? Rude, you say? Yeah, maybe - but hell, it is the story of my life at the pharmacy. Someone needs to send them back home.

Check out some of the artists on my current playlist: Silverchair, Shiny Toy Guns, Mika. A change in pace - kind of refreshing.

December already? Seriously? Crazy.

Romo, you are killing me. Do you not remember the last time you were with Jessica? Or how about when you were with Carrie? Let me remind you...


In March and April it is all about college basketball. In December and January, I look forward to putting my attention into college football, with conference and bowl games. This season has left me a bit disinterested. Not only did UT not perform as well as I had hoped, but several teams which deserve to be atop the BCS poll are not. LSU and Ohio State in the Championship Game? Really? Who wants to watch that?

My blood pressure was 90/62. I know high blood pressure is bad, but what about low blood pressure?

It is Secret Santa time again. Anyone have any good ideas? I need four small gift ideas, and then one larger gift for the last day.

As weeks go by, and more episodes are aired, I am beginning to worry about the effects of the writers' strike. Several shows are already in jeopardy. Many more will be airing reruns soon. What am I going to do? I just got back into television!

I like to take pictures of the dishes I make. It makes me feel like I am not completely useless in the kitchen.

Udon noodles.
(Credit for this one goes out to Fung who made me some in Austin and inspired me.)
Grilled Chicken. Rice. Broccoli.
(The chicken is a bit charred, I know.)

Austin bits.

Trudy's at last. Spoiled with good liquor, I had my Mexican Martini top shelf - Patron. It was delicious.

If I was taking apartment warming gifts, I would ask for a bong. While at the Hookah Lounge, I discovered an alternative relaxation treatment - smoking hookah while watching basketball. You have no idea.

Big dogs scare me. They hurt my boobs when they push off my chest.

Bars with live fish under the dance floor are amazing.


I never thought I would be bringing Britney back, but I did. You know you wish you could sing like me, Julie.

Formal was ridiculously long, but I am glad I decided to go this semester. Congratulations to all the girls. Hurray for being the oldest girl there. Thank goodness for hotel bars.

Gay club at last. This was quite the experience - Thank you, Tammy, for introducing me to your world of fun. The club was nice, the music was good, and some of the gay guys were ridiculously hot. Damnit.

Jello shots will never go out of style. Phuong and I whipped up some red and green ones in 10 minutes, and they were delicious.

Falling asleep at end of the bed never grows old.

West Campus has changed so much. Or should I say West Campus is in the process of changing so much! There was construction on every fucking corner. I honestly did not recognize the neighborhood when I first got there. Oh, and I found myself saying, "Back when I lived here..." God, I am getting old.

And what is a weekend with my Vivian without her Hook'em hand. Cheers to more weekends in Austin!

hangovers hurt.

Why do I never learn? I miss the days when I could drink shot after shot, beer after beer, and wake up the next morning only to do it all over again. No aftermath. I had no idea what a hangover felt like. Now I do.

Old age + an alcohol saturated liver = misery for hours.

Average time of recovery usually takes me to 8 pm the following day. A whole day spent nauseas and aching. It takes a definite toll on my body, and I pay the consequences. I do not have the option of spending the whole day wincing in bed. Shortly after calling it a night (when the bars close at 2 am), I have to wake up to go to work. Knowing damn well I have to work 11+ hours the following day, I still choose to drink like alcohol is going out of style. Let me tell you (in case you do not know...), it makes for a horrible work day.

hubcaps.

Losing hubcaps seems to be the story of my life. The story of my Corolla's life, that is. I must have gone through at least three full sets now, currently going on my fourth. At one point, I even had to program Hubcap Homers into my cell phone. No more. I vow to keep my current set for awhile.

Old Hubcaps

New Hubcaps
They are no spinners, but they give Whitey a little more personality. Yes?

potstickers!

Looks like I can add potstickers to my I-Can-Cook Menu...


Though added to my list of (two) meals I can prepare, it will definitely fall second to my fried rice. Slaving over the stove, only to have my apartment reak of fried oil is not appealing. Once finished, the joy of eating could only be accompanied by the much larger joy of drinking. (Note the Miller Lite bottle in the background.)

not enough hugs to go around.

Have you ever heard a story so sad and touching that if it was any more moving it might as well be your own story to tell? Tonight I had someone tell me the story of how a family was falling apart. It was disheartening to hear that one night of unexplainable events and exchange of words could lead to the downfall of a happy marriage and several people's lives. How much of it can you blame on mental illness? Could it be that he just snapped? How can you accept such unforeseable behavior? Your friends and loved ones will tell you to keep fighting, but it is those closest to you that may need to tell you to walk away. For the sake of you and your children.

Though I have never met these people, I can only feel a portion of their pain. I feel for them and those around them.

lesson learned.

Close call. Second chance. A warning. How many of these does one get? Consider this a lesson learned.


It will hurt along the way. But if you are not grateful for the fact that you can feel pain, then the scars may run deeper than the surface.

now what?

When it was my idea it was okay. When it was my idea it was enticing. When it was my idea it was on my time. When it was my idea there was no pressure. Now there is pressure. Now it feels like time is running out. Now it is no longer enticing, but rather undesirable. Now 'okay' is not good enough.

Now what?

square eyes.

43% full. My DVR is 43% full. I have only had cable tv for less than two months, and it has consumed me. Well, consumed me as much as anything could outside of my crazy work hours.

General Hospital. Heroes. Bones. House. Nip/Tuck. Private Practice. Grey's Anatomy. Those are just a few shows I watch weekly. I can never watch them when it airs, of course, so I must record them all and watch them at a later time. Oh, and let us not forget that it is also football and basketball season, and games take precedence over my sitcoms and dramas. DVR is my savior.


So, today alone, I recorded five shows. I average about three shows a day (weekends are dedicated to football). My shows are prioritized, with General Hospital being a must see every day to Life being a show I watch if I have time.

With One Tree Hill ending last year, I had to pick up a new WB, now CW, show to fill my teeny-bopper void. A co-worker suggested Gossip Girl and though I had my reservations, it has turned out to be tolerable show. Minus the narration, the storylines are not too far fetched, and the characters have grown on me. A climbing B+ as far as CW shows go.

Deprived of the FX channel for years, I have been counting down the days until the Nip/Tuck season premiere. A little weary of the LA scene change, I do not doubt that it will still be a great series.

You can never get tired of the doctor/hospital shows. House, Grey's Anatomy, and Private Practice have this category covered. Going into the season, I had extremely low expectations for Private Practice, but Diggs and the rest of the cast have won me over.

And then there is Sarah Silverman. She just cracks me up. Enough said.

bionic woman.

'Take some NyQuil,' they all say. How is it that DayQuil and NyQuil have such amazing results with people and does jack shit for me. Yet another sinus infection, and nothing seems to be helping it. Last time I had a sinus infection, I was sick for over two weeks. I see my current health status veering down that same path.

Having a high tolerance for alcohol in college was one thing, having a tolerance against medications is another. Gah - What I would give to have a normal body that reacts as expected to drugs.

Yan can cook, so can you...and I.

Believe it or not, I attempted, and successfully cooked my first dish (ever). Granted it was nothing fancy, I managed to not cut off any fingers or burn down any furniture. To the average person, this may not seem like a big feat, but for me it is monumental.


Fried Rice
Not nearly as tasteful as the fried rice my father cooks, it was by no means torture to eat. Defintely something a little more salt and/or soy sauce could fix.

for lack and loss of words.

Crap. Crap. Shit. Damnit. Crap.

TX/OU.

If Texas/OU was a holiday, the weekend of the TX/OU game would be my favorite holiday of the year. Great food. Great drinks. Great company. Great game. Great times!

The weekend started off on Friday with an annual trip to the fair. The car was loaded, as usual, with Crown, beer, and this year I decided to throw in some jello shots. Once the twirling of the fingers began, we knew it was time to conquer the fair. I have a new favorite state fair food: Fried Guacamole Bites. Delicious does not even begin to describe them. If I had time, I would drive back to the fair for another plate or two.

Later in the evening, more of my favorite people came in town. Being the tired, lazy asses that we can be, we ended up staying in Friday night.

Saturday was game day, and what a game day it was. After scoping out Beltline Road, we ended up at Dukes. We weathered the humidity by sitting outside in the tented area. By half-time, I could not tell if it was the humidity, the beer, or the intensity of the game that was making me all hot and sweaty! Despite losing, it was good times and a well fought out game.

Drinking started around 2 pm, and continued through the evening. Another night out at Karma. I must admit though, it was the best night I have had at Karma. We saw lots of familiar faces, met a lot of new faces, and had a lot of strong drinks. Throw in a good Chinese meal at 3 in the morning, and you have yourself a great night.

I miss all my favorites that came into town. I still cannot believe I fit 6 people in my apartment, but it somehow worked - noisy air mattress and all. Come back soon! Until next year...


HOOK 'EM!

quotable.

Change. We don't like it. We fear it. But we can't stop it from coming. We either adapt to change. Or we get left behind. It hurts to grow. Any one that tells you it doesn't is lying. But here's the truth, sometimes the more things change, the more they stay the same. And sometimes, change is good. Sometimes, change is everything.

We all have problems...I don't want to be here. I'd give anything to not be here. To have my life work out the way I planned. To have time to ask 'what about me?' So you change. You get over it. I'm here, now.

-Grey's Anatomy

apologize.

I must apologize for my foul attitude/behavior these past two weeks. My uncharacteristic moods were brought to my attention by several people over a few weeks, so long that I could not blame it on a certain time of month.

I choose to work 70 hour weeks, and it is not the amount of time spent working that has taken its toll, but rather the working conditions. A fairly stress-free full-time job has turned into an extremely stressful job these past few weeks. I work hard four times out of the year. My job caters to the public, and it seems the public is never satisfied. It is never black or white, right or wrong. My part-time job has become a zoo. Three newly hired technicians, two of which are foreigners. It has been madness day in and day out.

My patience level has been slim to none. Growing up, you are always told there is no such thing as a stupid question. Once grown up, you realize by that the before mentioned statement only applies during the years of growth, when you still have much to learn. As an adult, the overwhelming number of inquisitive idiots do, in fact, ask stupid questions. One every once in awhile is okay to ignore, but one every hour of every day begins to make you wish a meteor fell on each idiot's head upon completion of each stupid question.

Miscarriage. Abortion. Suicide. Death. Never in my wildest dreams would I have ever thought I would be personally involved with so many people dealing with these situations during my life. In my opinion, these are some of the most difficult challenges one can face in life, and I envy those who know of no such thing. No one can ever really know how it feels until you, yourself, experience it. And even at that, it differs for everyone. I can only hope that I have and will do everything I can.

Eight years younger than me, my sister is one of the closest people to me. She recently went off to college for her freshman year. If I would have shed a tear any time this year, it would have been the day we moved her in. I miss her more than words could ever say. We grew extremely close over the past three years and though like night and day, we seem to relate very well to each other. She is one of the most kind hearted and good natured people I know. I wish her the best in college and hope she overcomes her current struggles.

No excuses. Not a justification. Just 'cause. Forgive me.

hungry hungry hippos.

One of life's greatest pleasures is having friends with similar eating habits who understand the importance of satisfying cravings...

Hungry Hippo 1: you think those shops around the legacy supermarket are open?
Hungry Hippo 2: yeah they are
Hungry Hippo 1: think they take CC?
Hungry Hippo 1: and have gop / beef noodle soup?
Hungry Hippo 1: man, i'd say first chinese bbq on coit, but they are cash only as well
Hungry Hippo 2: you know, i dont know that there isa cafe-like restuarant there..the only reastuarnat is liek a jap, pho, and this new-san-dor chinese restaurant
Hungry Hippo 1: really?? aw man
Hungry Hippo 1: what to doo!
Hungry Hippo 2: taiwan cafe?
Hungry Hippo 1: i'm hunngryy
Hungry Hippo 1: ooh we can do that!
Hungry Hippo 2: wait, they're cash only right?
Hungry Hippo 1: they are?!
Hungry Hippo 2: yeah.t.hey're cash only
Hungry Hippo 1: man
Hungry Hippo 1: sorry, i just lost my train of thought
Hungry Hippo 1: it's like my brain cells die with each hunger pang
Hungry Hippo 2: i have $15 cash...you think that's enough for hte 2 of us to eat?
Hungry Hippo 2: im desparate
Hungry Hippo 2: so sad
Hungry Hippo 1: i can TRY to get some cash out of the atm?
Hungry Hippo 1: honestly, i don't rememer my pin
Hungry Hippo 1: which is why i never have any cash
Hungry Hippo 2: haha. thats horrible
Hungry Hippo 1: hahaha, i KNOW
Hungry Hippo 1: i have a few guesses as to what it is
Hungry Hippo 1: so i could try to extract some cash?!
Hungry Hippo 1: what time is shabu shabu open till?
Hungry Hippo 2: 10
Hungry Hippo 1: ok, coool!
Hungry Hippo 1: what time do yo uwant to eat?
Hungry Hippo 1: so uhh like... 8:30? 8:25?
Hungry Hippo 2: yeah
Hungry Hippo 1: ok sounds good!
Hungry Hippo 1: i gotta find a wamu
Hungry Hippo 2: across from chick file
Hungry Hippo 2: er, they take pesronal cks
Hungry Hippo 2: i could bring a ck
Hungry Hippo 1: lol... checks... i don't think i've used a check since i had my own place
Hungry Hippo 1: lol it's ok i'll figure it out
Hungry Hippo 1: if i can't figure it out i can alawyas just go home and get cash
Hungry Hippo 2: omg. something about this is absurd.
Hungry Hippo 1: dude, when i'm hungry i will do ANYTHING for food
Hungry Hippo 2: aite, do what you gotta do..i'll bringa ck just in case

passing thoughts.

Gas is $2.99/gallon near my apartment. 5 blocks away I can fill up my car for $2.55/gallon. Crazy.

Though I have cut back on Starbucks, I have tweaked my order a bit. I never thought I would be one of those...but I have. My regular order: Iced Grande 3-Pump Vanilla No Room Americano. I can even say it fast.

One month later, I have paid my first month's rent and all the bills that come along with it. Holy shit, living on your own is expensive.

I am going to become a born-again tv junkie. I may even dip into the reality shows I never really cared for.

Part of growing up is dealing with death. It is amazing how someone's death can impact you, even if you had never met the person. He was so young. Yet, during his short life, he touched so many lives and accomplished so much.

Currently listening to: Apologize - One Republic.

Bowel movements have become a regular topic of conversation for me. Thankfully, I have co-workers and friends who are just as open about their regularities or irregularities.

Now that I have my own place, I find myself walking around in just basketball shorts and a bra. A sports bra, that is.

I am on an underwear buying high. But seriously, how can you not take advantage of 10 for $30 at Victoria's Secret?

Random things I miss...my dad's cooking, my sister, staying up all night at the PCL with LT, not having to worry about the electric bill, Zetas, skipping class, Cafe n Beyond/PC Wave, eating pork and rice at Grace's, recess, weekend sleepovers at Leslie's, late night phone calls during high school.

slob within.

For the most part, I am a clean and neat person. There are, however, at least two noteable messes I am guilty of...


Bet you never knew I had ten pairs of feet. Looks like I currently have visitors at my apartment. I would invest in a shoe rack, but I do not think I would use it. I have a bad habit of just kicking off my shoes/flip flops right in front of the door.




This could look a lot worse. After working 11-15 hours, tossing my clothes at the edge of my bed is so much easier than putting it in my closet at the end of the day. Bigger bed = more surface area for clothes to be thrown.

fear of the future.

I have this fear that I will end up like someone I know.

One of my biggest fears in life has always been to grow up alone. Diseased or povershed, either would be bearable as long as there were others, or just one other, there beside me. But to be healthy and old, but alone...what is the point?

Accomplished at work, the personal life dwindles. At home, the drinking comes before the sleeping. At age 40+ with no family, no kids.

I do not pray, but if I did, I would pray to the highest of gods that if I am diseased and povershed, that I am dying penniless in the arms of someone that loves me.

new found freedom.

The first of this month marked the beginning of a new start. Everyone is allowed a Restart button in their life. Some people choose to press it every year at the strike of midnight. Do not take it for granted. The past will never be erased, and that may hurt me in more ways than one but it is the price I will have to pay. Scrifices were made. Seems sacrifices are still being made. I turned to a life of solitude, which became a time of discovery. Independence is nice, but it is best complimented with unanticipated dependence.

Thank you to the few that did not judge me or leave me these past 18 months. The rest of my life will never be the same, and I will do my best to make the most of it.

fob on the rocks.

Apparently I can speak fob after a few drinks. Last night I was actually able to hold a conversation with a complete stranger. Granted the conversion was somewhat limited to the subject of dim sum, it was a conversation, nonetheless. Maybe I have it in me to speak Chinese, but I just lack the confidence. Can you imagine? I could be an extremely fluent speaker while in a drunken stupor.

Note: I was not hitting on a fob at the club. A very friend Chinese guy approached us in the parking lot and invited us to his newly opened Chinese restaurant. $5.99 dim sum buffet, if you are interested.

Colt McCoy, he's our boy.

For those of you who do not know, the one of the left is Colt McCoy, the Longhorn's current star quarterback. Though he is no Vince Young, he is a cute, small town boy with a good arm. And the little one on the right...that is Thomas, the son of my favorite pharmacist to work with, Jill. Jill and her family went to the UT/Arkansas State game this past weekend and then proceeded to dine with the McCoy family. How cool is that?!

the new crib.

The deadline drew nearer, and the time finally came. It was time to move out and find my own place. So here it is, much awaited pictures of my apartment...


- The Kitchen. Where I need to venture past turkey sandwiches. -


- The Living Room. Where I will be watching my ESPN and GH. -


- The Bathroom. Where I will poo and pee. Oh, and shower. -



- The Bedroom. Where I will hope to catch a few hours on my big girl bed. -

It ain't no MTV Cribs, but it is my crib. And I like it.

it was like Christmas.

No matter how far technology advances, I will always appreciate the simple things in life. Snail mail will never grow old. I received a package from Grace, and it was like Christmas, minus the tree and tedious wrapping.


Random assortment of items, I know. But each and every one of them makes me smile...yes, even the ugly/cute Pink dog from Victoria Secret.

Thanks, Grace!

the day has finally come.

Today marks the beginning of a new way of life. A sleepless life.

At 11:00 this morning, Mr. Time Warner came by and blessed me with cable TV and internet. My life is complete. Well, minus money and a man - I am still waiting for those to come knocking on my door.

I spoiled myself with a DVR so if you guys ever need to find me, I will be embedded in my leather couch in front of the tv. I could not have timed it any better - the kickoff of football and the start of a new season for primetime shows.

i know you know i know.

Sometimes you just have to trust that others will respect your decision to remain quiet. At the same time, a secret is not a sign of distrust. There is never just one common reason for silence. Rightfully, everyone has their own reason or reasons why they choose to say more than others.

say "cheese."

You know those cravings I get? The ones I cannot stop talking about until I satisfy them? My latest craving: cheese cubes.

I have been craving cubes of cheese for weeks. Every time I am at Tom Thumb I look for them. There's shredded, sliced, string, and canned, but there are never any cubed. Finally I got smart and went to Whole Foods Market.

Wisconsin Garlic Cheddar cubes
6.99 / lb.

I had no idea what Wisconsin Garlic Cheddar tasted like; my knowledge is limited to Cheddar and Pepperjack. But if I would going to buy cheese by the pound, I was going to find out what Wisconsin cheese was all about. So, I bought $3.15 worth of cubes. Craving satisfied.

please don't hit me.

Please don't hit me. Please don't hit me.

*BAM*

At the age of 25, I had my very first car accident. It was not as scary as I thought it would be. Not to take away from the severity of the event, but I guess it could have been a lot worse.

Apparently I was extremely calm throughout the whole thing (says the girl who hit me). Maybe it was because I saw it coming the whole time - I had a gut feeling that whoever was driving the beige Mercedes was going to break abruptly, causing the car to hydro-plane or skid into my lane. And sure enough, it did. After I had realized what had just happened, I got out of the car, only to hear the girl yell, "Damnit! I just got my license reinstated." Great, that's real comforting...

People really do need to learn how to drive in the rain. Learn to look at the traffic up ahead of you. Try driving a little slower. Oh, and know that when you break abruptly, your car is not going to just come to a stop, but rather go uncontrollably in any which direction.

In the end, both cars got towed. The girl's mother (who showed up to the scene later) turned out to be someone I knew from the pharmacy and was extremely nice to me throughout the entire thing. She even gave me a ride home. They have accepted liability so hopefully this will get resolved soon. Until then, my car is in the shop.

All I was trying to do was go home after a long week of jury duty...

jury duty.

I am currently a student and am unable to serve.

The past three times I have been called for selection, I have been able to check the student exemption box. Three years later, I am now out of school and have been called yet again. No one ever expects to be chosen.

This past Monday, I showed up at the McKinney Courthouse, and the process began. What a long process it was. It was long and tedious, and the jury of six did not get selected until 1:30 pm. The selection process was interesting. As the lawyers pointed out, the six of us did not get chosen, but rather the others were eliminated. The case involved domestic disbutes and violence. They elimated those with any history of violence. They also elimated the school teachers and counselors who may have a biased opinion about children and guardians. I was one of the six, which they thought could make an unbiased decision.

Though the actual trial was frustrating at times, because the judge would just send the jury to the jury room without reason and tell us it may take any where from 10 to 30 minutes before he called us back, it was extremely interesting. I witnessed a poor little 8 year old take the stand. Lawyers got frustrated, with their witnesses and with each other throughout the trial. Witnesses could not control their emotions and cried while taking the stand.

The most interesting part was the deliberation. After two solid days of trial, the fate of the defendant was in the jurors' hands. There were two charges: assault and violation of a protective order. We, the jurors, found the defendant guilty of assault and not guilty of violation of the protective order. It is amazing how the court of law expects a group of completely different people, let it be 6 or 12, to agree unanimously on such an important decision.

I have done my duty as a citizen.

long time no read/write.

What seems like months has only been half a month. Seems like forever since I last wrote. I have been distant with the outside world. Pretty much all that has consumed my time has been work and my sister. Work, because I need money, and my sister because she is leaving for college in a month and a half.

On a very important side note, I did purchase a new laptop. So, that should be arriving within the next few weeks.