pick 'em.

There is a boy at work that interests me. I, however, do not interest him as much.

Tom Brady out for the season?! Damn. Sucks for all the people who had him on their fantasy team!

It has not been done since college, but it finally happened again. I accidentally drove off with my drink still resting on top of my car. Damnit.

The TV is always on when I am home now. Between football season and Fall shows starting up, the TV has my undivided attention.

Anyone know where I can get a new set of eyeballs for a good price?

It did not dawn on me until the other day when I heard my neighbor's baby crying upstairs. If I can hear the baby cry at night, can they hear my TV on at 2 in the morning? Can they hear my alarm go off at 3:45 am on the mornings I have to be at work by 5?

The one time you feel appreciated (almost) makes up for the multiple times your hardwork is overlooked.

Post-hurricane weather is absolutely gorgeous. Too bad I will spend most of the week indoors at work instead of outside in 80 degree weather.

I'm winning this week's pick-ems!!! This is, of course, incomplete with tomorrow's Cowboys/Eagles game still to be determined, but I am so excited because I will probably never win another week the rest of the season!!! Check it...

I am sorry for your loss.

During my twenty-some years of existence, I have only suffered losses of friends. That is not to say that no one of family has died. I have just never 'suffered' as a result of their death, until now.

Yesterday my grandfather suffered a stroke. Following the stroke, MRIs were done to determine the effect of the stroke. Half of his brain was destroyed. The other half was a mess. Doctors projected he had but three to four days to live. My father, aunt, and uncle immediately bought airline tickets to Hong Kong. I can only imagine that their one wish was to make it across seas before my grandfather passed; a chance to hold and touch their father's hands before the blood stops circulating and the palms turn cold.

My grandfather has passed, and at this very moment in time my father is stuck at the airport because of a layover in Los Angeles. How fucking shitty is that?

I do not believe in a particular higher being, but if I did I can tell you I would be doubting all that it stands for right now. I have never felt this sort of pain for anyone before. The pain I feel for my father outweighs any pain I have for myself. Before he left I called him just to let him know I knew of the situation. Of course the conversation was just that - an acknowledgment of the facts and nothing more. Prior to hanging up he told me to take care of myself, as he did not want to have to worry about me, as well. My heart sank.

I hate that I feel, but cannot express. I love you, Dad. I am so very sorry for your loss...

pharmacy funny.

A slow Friday night at the pharmacy...

Me: What's that one saying? Something old, something blue..?

Jill: Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue. Why? You getting hitched?

Me: Ha - Yeah, to Bill.

Bill: I'm the something old.

Jill: And Viagra is the something blue.

so you got jokes.

Pool and darts are my latest pastimes. Though my game could use much improvement, I thoroughly enjoy playing. Maybe it is the atmosphere. Maybe it is the beer.

People who have no sense of humor annoy the hell out of me. Life is depressing enough as it is, with war between countries, people dying of cancer, gas prices rising. For everyone's sake, please, try to laugh a little.

Growing up, I always had a little bully inside of me. Grown up, I apparently still have it in me. I will make a conscious effort to be nice.

C. Parker is amazing...



Someone please explain to me the logic behind blister-packing migraine medications. Between my Zyrtec D and my Amerge, my headaches triple in severity. When my head is throbbing, the last thing I want to do is try to break about a plastic seal to get to a tablet that may or may not help soothe my pain.

Guitar Hero owns me.

The countdown to The Olympics and Football Season has begun! The Olympics have not been the same since the Dream Team days; hopefully this year will be exciting. Football season, on the otherhand, is always exciting. I cannot wait!

I will no longer take my health for granted. The past month has been hell. I feared permanently losing vision in one eye. Talk of surgery scared the shit out of me. Hundreds of dollars were spent trying to find a treatment. Headaches were suffered each day, as contacts could no longer be worn and glasses were the only option. Bottles and bottles of eye drops prescribed. Daily activities (work and play) were put on hold - I have taken off more days from work the past few weeks than I have the past few years. Hopefully my appointment tomorrow will bring good news and send me on my way to being back to normal. I cannot even begin to describe how awful the past month has been...scared, alone, feel of hopelessness...

what the hell is wrong with me?

I have been up since 4 am. I worked practically 15 hours straight. I have to be up in less than 4 hours. I am wide awake. It is like my body is on crack. I cannot even thinking straight. I keep thinking about the $4.99/lb rib-eye steaks I am going to buy tomorrow. Fuck it. I am going to watch TV.

stay strong.

I understand what you are going through. More than you will ever know. Though it may seem like night and day, the same stars shine upon us. I wish, with all my heart, I could take away all the pain, frustration, and uncertainty which now consumes you. Stay strong, as you are every bit deserving of happiness.

I love this game.

Such a close game! Romo's team won by 3, but Tommy's team played a good game. They were never down by more than 9 and even pulled ahead the second half. It came down to a fouling game at the end.

My favorite fan quote of the game, "Don't foul him too hard! He's our quarterback!!"

fuck the domestics.

Is it fair to criticize a manager's ways when you, yourself, are not of managerial standing? Being a manager is no easy task, but how does one go about giving him/her constructive criticism? Or do you not?

The Race for the Cure kicked my butt, once again. It snuck up on me, and I was forced to move my legs in a back and forth motion resembling that of running for almost the entire 5k. My legs saw more exercise in that 37 minute period than it has in the past year.

Everyone is raising their prices. The cost of living is going up! Restaurants are charging additionally for bowls of rice. My gym membership went up 30%. Le Madelines is now serving their bread in halves.

Uncle Sam's allowance was spent before it was even received. A Wii was posted on the swap meet and within an hour I replied and purchased it. Somehow it ended up a Father's Day gift and is no longer within my possession.

Somewhere along the way, I turned into a bully. I do not mean to treat him as an inferior. I do not mean to belittle. I do not even realize how I am.

"Nothing exciting going on here. Some dumb kid just stepped in the mouse trap over by the vending machines." Ha. Only at my place of work. Stupid kid.

The NBA season has ended. It will be months until football season begins. What the hell am I going to do until then?

Mexican beers are my new love. Lime or no lime.

"You don't return my phone calls, texts, Facebook messages, or phone calls..." Take a hint! Do I really need to spell it out to you?

Hopefully business picks up at the pharmacy so that my favorite pharmacist can come back to work. Monday nights are going to be dreadful without her. She only worked 4 hours once a week, but I looked forward to working each of those hours with her.

missing from my life.

There is something that I want more and more each day. I fear that if I do not ever attain this, then my life will be incomplete. I will not consider my life full without this. Each and every day a certain aspect of this makes it more desirable. Consider it a challenge. Consider it a blessing. Consider it not a part of my life.

Living vicariously only makes it harder. If I was more grounded in religion, I would think maybe it was not meant to be. Maybe this is how it is supposed to be. But as a non-believer, I wonder if maybe I am just not as fortunate as others.

Why do I want it so bad? Why am I forced to face what I do not have day in and day out? Why is it not a part of my life?

I had a dream.

I did not know it was possible to have a vivid dream about a person you have not seen in...over 10 years. Why in the world would this person be in my dream? Why would this person play such a role in my dream? I do not dream often, so a dream like this definitely leaves me pondering...

I do not dream often. I am no Martin Luther King, Jr. I think I will leave the dreaming up to others.

no work, all play.

So my lack of posts the month of May either reflects a super busy or super boring and thoughtless month. Whatever the reason, I am pleased to present recaps of two consecutive weekends off from work. Weekends that mainly consisted of alcohol and people who's company I enjoy. Oh, and alcohol.

I have officially been tagged a member of the "rowdy" table. You know, the one you seat at the back of the wedding, near the bar. I am honored.

Please note that an open bar wedding is the best kind of wedding. It really should be the only kind of wedding.

Several attempts later, I finally found myself at Ghost Bar. Though it did not have the same ooh-ahh effect as Las Vegas, it definitely felt like home. Well, in that the music was good, the drinks were not unreasonably priced, and the company was great.

Wearing a dress is one of the most stressful and uncomfortable things ever!

According to my weight scale, I gained almost 5 pounds this past weekend. I wonder why - alcohol, korean food, burgers, fries, frozen custard, late night meals...

Just call me old. First my knee, now my foot. I am falling apart.

I am a ninja. I like to take pictures when nobody is looking. Now if only I could "turn down the flash."

Note: Do not order the Crazy Roll at Blue Fish. Though it is quite crazy, it hardly allows for an enjoyable taste. Between fighting the watery eyes and hoping there is not another bite of wasabi, the roll leaves you wishing you had settled for another Yellowtail Roll.

I love Dallas, and I love Plano, but I hate the pretentiousness that comprises 98% of the area. Is it really necessary to throw down $600 dollars to have a good time at a lounge? Do you not think there is something wrong with dressing your 5 year old daughter in an outfit that costs as much as your Gucci sunglasses?

'til death do us part.

Having gone to two weddings in the past 10 days, I cannot help but think...

My friends are now approaching the age at which marriage is not uncommon, and is very much accepted, if not expected. I, in turn, am also nearing that age.

I am at a point in my life where growing old may soon become a reality, and no longer a fear.

People are building families; I want that. I want to be a part of a family in which I actively build so that I can put to rest the one in which I play a passive role in.

I want kids. I feel like the more I say it, the less likely I am to have any. But let it be known, that I love children. I see my co-workers' children grow, and hear about their antics each and every day, and it never ceases to amaze me what they are capable of and the joy they bring to their parents' lives.

Love is out there. I have no earthly idea what it is and what it feels like, but I have witnessed it in others.

Boom Tho.

I somehow managed to sprain my pinky while popping my knuckles. Grown-ups always tell you not to pop your knuckles because it could cause arthritis when you are older, but did they ever warn you about sprains? Fingers take forever to heal, too!

Having black friends sure does have its advantages. They keep you in the know and give you soul. How else would I know about the new Movement...Boom Tho!



How are you supposed to react when someone asks you, "Are you shrinking?" Mind you, this was not a friend or family member asking...but rather a customer. Maybe I have lost an inch or two. Do you really need to point it out?

Food makes me so happy. My latest homeade indulgence...



Congratulations to Cate and Brent - probably the purest couple to wed that I will ever know. The ceremony was beautiful, and I wish you two nothing but happiness for years to come.

Congratulations to the other happy couple that just wedded this weekend. The ceremony and reception were both gorgeous. The crab cakes were delicious, and the open bar was the shit.

Hurray for Whitney - America's Next Top Model Winner:



I found my first gray hair. I was, and still am, devastated.

How many pairs of basketball shorts can one girl own? Apparently not too many, as I just purchased three more this past weekend. I could not help it - the Nike outlet had a sale!

I do not mean to always play devil's advocate; it just seems to always play out that way.

10 superstitions, traditions, personality quirks.

1. I eat my sides first, then the main course.
2. I eat french fries with mustard, not ketchup.
3. I do not do drive-thrus.
4. All my athletic shoes are Nike.
5. I write checks to pay all my bills.
6. I put a period after my name when I type emails and leave online comments on websites/blogs.
7. The only time I drink sodas are with alcohol, as a cocktail.
8. I bounce the basketball three times and then spin it in my hands before shooting each free throw.
9. I always ask for two straws with my drinks at restaurants.
10. I always have chapstick on me; usually in my right jean's pocket.

10 things you love about your life.

1. My DVR. Cable would be worthless to me without my DVR.
2. My work attire. I can wear tennis shoes and jeans every day. Hell, I can even wear my Tevas so long as my toes are painted.
3. My sister. She is the only person in this world I can truly say I love.
4. My health. Despite my headaches, I am grateful for my health. Namely, my mental health, as I have never met so many people with mental illnesses until this past year.
5. My alma mater. I bleed burnt orange. Hook 'em!
6. Not having college loans. I am grateful to my parents for this.
7. My co-workers. I love going to work each day.
8. The luxury of having Starbucks twice, if not three times, daily.
9. My apartment. Living on my own has been quite the pleasant experience, bills aside.
10. The memories. I cherish everyone of them.

...in no particular order.

all I can hear are my head and my heart.

It is not always about me, I know. But is it better to sit and watch as the person I know and love become someone I do not know but will always love? Was I being selfish or did I really have her best interest at heart? I feel alone in this matter, and for the first time in a long time, my emotions are getting the best of me everywhere I go and with everything I do. I fear this will not pass until I know she will be okay.

because you are my manager.

And this is what I would have said to my manager...

You're too quick to doubt, instead of giving the benefit of the doubt.

You play favorites.

Kim can do no wrong. And Connie and Ameer can get away with anything.

What I admire about you is your patience, but sometimes you have to take a stand. You shouldn't have to wait for another pharmacy manager to tell you to do something that has been a long time coming.

It wasn't what you said. It was how you handled the situation.

I wouldn't get mad over such a petty thing. I would be the first to banter back with you. But like I said, it wasn't the words, but rather the actions.

Enraged and frustrated, I have decided to take the so-called high road. I will show up to work to do my job the only way I know how. It is not in my nature to sabatoge my work ethics in order to prove a point. I will continue to put 110% in everything I do. I am responsible for my actions, and my actions alone.

footlong turkey on wheat, please.

Do you know anyone else that would do their nails, and then two hours later go and play basketball?

Upgrades are only done to secure the jobs of programmers and IT people. I will never understand the need to upgrade softwares that work perfectly fine.

Being "socially sober" during a work-related happy hour is incredibly enlightening. The things people say...and the things you learn...

At the rate in which I am eating $5 footlongs, I will soon become a footlong turkey on wheat with american cheese. Eat me.

Ever notice how quick girls are to compliment other girls when their hair looks nice? Sometimes they even make it a point to say it several times throughout the day.

I will admit it, I am an Idol junkie this season. I cannot help it. I love the guys, D. Archuleta and D. Cook, and I think C. Smithson is absolutely amazing! This week's performances gave me goosebumps...





I can only hope that you know I am always here for you.

Uncle Sam can kiss my ass. Each year I dread doing my taxes. This year was no exception. I am being punished for working hard and having two jobs.

I have a little crush. It probably will not develop into anything more than a little crush. It will never be a full blown crush. I do not think I will ever get to know him well enough to take a liking to him. The crush will probably only last a few weeks. But it is a crush, nonetheless. And I get to see him several times a week.

Texas weather is fucking crazy. Car ports falling on cars. Trees getting split in half. Traffic lights being blown down. Fences falling down. Roof shingles flying all over the place. When it storms, it really storms.

not on your time.

My whole damn life you dictate the idea of planning and drill it into our heads. And now that you have had a sudden change in lifestyle everything is on YOUR time? Please tell me how the hell that works. I knew that once my sister went off to college my already shitty relationship was going to turn shittier, if not non-existant. I knew that. So why the hell do I still seem to care?

The Last Minute Filler.

80% of my shifts are closing shifts. Do not get me wrong, I am not complaining. In fact, I am extremely grateful for a job that works around my not-so-normal 40 hour week. But along with closing shifts come closing duties, and a whole bunch of shit that always seems to happen the last hour of work. Shit caused by people who choose to wait until the very last minute to drop off their prescriptions. Let us call these people...Last Minute Fillers [name taken from a pharmacy blog].

The Last Minute Filler...

Comes to the counter 10 minutes before closing wanting hospital discharge medications filled. There is no physician's name printed on the papers, and the signature is illegible.

Has a transfer from another pharmacy, which is closed for the day.

Has been out of cholesterol medicine for the past two days and is just now requesting a refill on an out-of-refill Lipitor. This cannot wait one more day, and a loan is insisted.

Drops off a Solodyn prescription and waits until after the $75 rings up at the register to bring to our attention a discount card that should be applied.

Has never filled at your pharmacy before and does not have any insurance information on them. Oh, but wait, they have a medical card on them, is that not all you need?

Just recently acquired changes in their insurance plans. Though kind enough to print 'temporary' cards off the internet, it does not have the sufficient information needed.

Oh, and do not bother asking the Last Minute Filler when he/she drops off the prescription if he/she would like to wait. Of course they do. You just slap a label on it, right?


The Last Minute Filler...makes you want to go home and drink.

I remember.

I remember more from my six years in elementary school than I do the past...eight years of my life.

Those years were, believe it or not, some of the best years of my life. Family aside, I felt like I was on top of the world some days. My head was on straight, and I had direction in my life. As much direction as an eight or nine year old could have.

It is rare that one ends up working where he or she grew up. Most people move on to bigger and better things several thousands of miles away. I came back. And by being back, I run into familiar faces on occasion.

The other day, I ran into one of the librarians from my elementary school. She looked exactly the same...actually, younger because her hair was dyed. But aside from the colored hair, she was exactly how I remembered her to be. Now before you go on calling me out and saying I was born a nerd who spent countless hours at the library, keep in mind that in grade school library time was shared equally amongst all the classrooms. Noone was allowed to venture into the library on their own.

I remember the red light, green light discipline program. I remember paying several tributes to the "thinking mat" in kindergarten. I remember not being allowed to recess because I was actively participating in a spit wad fight during lunch. The spit wads were laced with mashed potatoes. I remember playing wall ball with the boys during recess. I remember getting chocolate milk every lunch. I remember the name posters we had in 5th grade. I remember choir concerts and the choir teacher. I remember each of the PE coaches, and all the 1st place ribbons I won on Field Days. I remember my principal. I remember the STOP students opening the doors for the carpool lane. I remember the King Tut project we did in PACE. I remember the pencil machine and spending (wasting) quarters on it every morning.

You would not believe how many more things I remember...

eureka!

This is going on my next Christmas list...

bless me.

Ever since I can remember, I have always been taught to say "bless you" when someone sneezes. Why I deemed it necessary to bless myself, I do not know, but I do. Whenever I sneeze, I immediately say, "bless me." I do so self-consciously and do not even realize it. Maybe I do it just it case noone else blesses me...

Airborne, schmair-borne.

And how many times have you heard me say Airborne is nothing but a high concentration of Vitamin C and other nutrients packed into a soluable tablet? Now you can read it for yourself. (Damn, maybe I do have a future as a pharmacist...)

My family swears by it, so I must say I have been guilty of taking it. And for a split second, I may have supported the product, as it seemed to have prevented me from getting sick before and after Vegas. But I have always had my doubts. I have my doubts about 75% of the OTC products. Nowadays it is all a marketing ploy. Airborne did a great selling its product, but now it is your turn to get a refund on your fizzy elixir.

But hey, whatever works, right?

random madness.

I have new upstairs neighbors (the young couple that made banging noises all the time moved out - yay!). It smells like curry. Guess what nationality they are.

Where you drunk? High? Cracked out? What made you think of me?

Holy it feels good to work out regularly again. I practically live out of my duffle bag now with a change of three outfits packed - work clothes #1, work clothes #2, and workOUT clothes. And then there are the three pairs of shoes...

Sometimes I feel like lists consume me. They tell me what to do and when to do it. Yet, I feel somewhat lost without them.

My boss tried convincing us that she had "soul" by telling us she watched America's Best Dance Crew. Ever since then, I have been hooked. Watching JabbaWockeez and Kaba battle it out was sad. It should have been Jabba vs Kaba in the end.


An advantage to working at the pharmacy is the unlimited supply of drugs available. After an hour of uncontrollable sneezing, the pharmacist handed over a Zyrtec D. Thanks. I wonder if I start yelling out random obscenities if he will hand over a Zyprexa. Or how about if I complain of a short attention span. Adderall, anyone?

I finally went to see an orthopedic about my knee. I have a feeling my pain/discomfort will go undiagnosed. Is a peace of mind worth $279?

And last, but certainly NOT least...IT'S BRACKET TIME! This is like my Christmas...except minus Santa Clause and all the presents. Okay, so it is nothing like Christmas. It is actually better because it is 2+ weeks of intense madness and excitement.

Friday Five.

BIG TROUBLE

1. What were the events that led to your being in the most trouble with your parents ever? I believe the cops showing up at my front door pretty much did me in.

2. What happened when you received your worst childhood physical injury? A girl named Samantha threw a combination lock at my forehead.

3. What was the worst trouble you ever got into in school? I got caught cheating on an exam.

4. What kind of trouble have you been in at work? I got caught on AIM.

5. How do you usually deal with the knowledge that you’re about to be in big trouble? I freak out and start brainstorming justifications/lies to cover my ass.

miss you, too.

xxxxx: Hey...i know it's been too long. Are you still here? Your message says you're working out??? I miss you from the old days...but i don't even know what that means!!!
xxxxx: I have been gone and alone for so long!!!
xxxxx: I quit everything and have been doing music for such a long time!!! I still miss you though...if you're still around i want you to come out so i can meet up with you!!!

...I miss you, too.

10 favorite drinks.

1. Corona Extra with lime
2. Crown and Coke
3. Grande Vanilla No Room Americano (from Starbucks)
4. Half and Half Iced Tea (from Chicken Express)
5. Long Island Iced Tea
6. Thai Iced Tea
7. Andy Worhol from PC Wave (from back in the day...)
8. Peach Fruit Smoothie (from Sonic)
9. Hot Chocolate
10. Peach Iced Tea (from Olive Garden)

...in no particular order.

*pictured above is one of the best pina coladas I have ever had (compliments of Margaritaville in Vegas), accompanied by a mango margarita, which was also quite delicious.

new kicks.

As if there were not enough shoes invading the doorway of my apartment. Now I have two more pairs to add to the mess...


Not quite sure why I bought these. They will probably get as much wear as my other pair of Chucks, which is about once every couple of weeks. Never a big fan of the laceless ones, something about this design made me want to buy them.


You want to see the receipt for proof of purchase, don't you? Ha. These shoes were bought under the influence of my sister, as she bought a brown pair. I have a weakness for Aldo shoes and thought maybe I could wear these at work? Who am I kidding, these will probably get less action than the Chucks.

make the smell go away!

One of my insecurities/fears is driving other people's cars when their car is bigger than mine. Though I did not overcome my fear, I did feel a little more comfortable driving a larger, brand new car down 121. Who the hell am I kidding. I was scared shitless, but fortunately made it to our destination safely. Next time I am going to make sure I have 12 beers instead of 2.

The real world is currently stressing me out like no other. Monetary issues, job #1 issues, job #2 issues, added responsibilities.

My DVR is back up to over 70% full. A week behind in General Hospital and several weeks behind in other shows, I fear I may not be able to catch up until my workload slows down.

Am I being punished for being patient? Sometimes I feel like I am.

I do not know who frustrates me more...the Dallas Cowboys or the damn Dallas Mavericks. Jason Kidd, you better win us a championship before your I-wish-I-was-more-black hair turns grey!

Who has never eaten hot fries until their stomach hurt? Remember Andy's Capps Hot Fries? Lately, I have been bringing hot fries back in style - eating bags at a time, in one day. Damn, those are the shit - flaming shits, that is. Best snack ever!


Ever feel like someone is eating all your pens at work? Work in a retail setting where you go through boxes of pens at a time? Having trouble keeping track of your favorite pen? Ask me about my new invention. Co-workers call it The White-Trash Pen. Brainstorming of product name will continue if I have hopes of ever marketing the item.

My latest bruise. No, it is not on my butt. Yes, it consumes over a quarter of the surface of my thigh. No, I do not remember how it happened. This is what it looks like...SEVEN days later...

My alcoholic behavior finally got the best of me. Now I can only hope to rectify any situations that may result from the evening.

As much as I thoroughly enjoy fondue, I cannot stand the smell that permeates through all my clothes and hair. I must say I despise it more than the post-pho smell. Two hours after leaving Melting Pot and two showers later, I still smell like oil and cheese. Ack.

snow in March.

Snow in Texas? In March? REALLY?!

Not just once, but twice, in one week. Outrageous.

will work for food.

Sometimes I feel like I really do work for food. My extra paychecks help to subsidize my voracious appetite. I ate two hours worth of work today for lunch.

Highly reviewed by D Magazine this past February, and absolutely adored by some that I know, Sea Breeze was a restaurant that has been on my mind for the past few months. I finally had the opportunity to sit down for good eating before work today, and I must say it was one of the best lunches ever. (Not to mention one of the most expensive lunches ever...)

Known for their Traditional New England Toasted Lobster Roll, I had no reservations as to what to order. The $13.95 roll was delicious. The lobster was perfectly sized into the New England-style buns. Though the roll, along with the side of fries, probably could have been enough to satisfy my visit, I could not leave without trying their crab cakes.

A big fan of crab cakes, I have only found one true favorite: Houston's. Sea Breeze definitely comes in a close second. What I liked most about the crab cake was that it was served on a bed of greens with balsamic vinagarette. It was heaven. And, believe it or not, the heavenly taste only cost $5.95, which I thought was quite the steal.

Maybe next time I will try their Gumbo or Clam Chowder.

The Road...Taken.

Funny how different crowds render different post ponderings. Some are more real world-focused, while others are full of nonsense and not worth pondering at all.

Can one be "too smart" for one's job? Is it considered time wasted? Are you thought of any less for not pursuing options that other's see more fit?

Chosen for the mentor/protege program this year, I will either come out more directed and determined or challenged and somewhat misguided. I will either know exactly what I want to do and what I am going to do to get there, or I will be forced to continue what I am doing until my clouded head comes out of my uncertain ass.

You do not leave the city unless you are going to be a lawyer, doctor...or pharmacist. I am pretty sure that last profession was thrown out there for me, but the last time I checked, I had no intentions of going to pharmacy school...

crush on Crush.

Now that the American Gladiators season has come to an end, Monday nights are no longer the same. This season, I fell in love with one of the Gladiators...


Not only is she the best female Gladiator, she is also fucking hot.

lean pocket.

It is about damn time. I have been eating the same Lean Pocket flavor for the past few years.

Turkey, Broccoli, and Cheese. It has always been my favorite. But favorites start to get old when you eat them all the time. Which is why it was about time for a new flavor...


I love it. It tastes just like spinach artichoke dip.

can't stop, won't stop.

It does not seem to matter how many times I say I will slow down/cut back. Work seems to consume me. Maybe not so much work itself, but the pull towards work.

Never really considered much of a right-brained person, I have grown to appreciate the arts more and more as the years pass. Music and photography.

Reading is not considered a hobby in my eyes. I do not see how someone can enjoy reading for fun. Nonetheless, I am attempting to read Newsweek Magazine on a weekly basis, as that is how they are published. I intend on fully reading the articles (3 pages or less), and in turn, hope to become more up to date on current events. We shall see how long that lasts.

Is it possible that not only two weeks later, I am itching to go back to Vegas?

No one I know really likes being criticized. At our best we acknowledge the utility of differing views, but hearing about our shortcomings is still emotionally taxing. To be reviewed and second-guessed is part of life, and a test of maturity is how well we manage the inevitable feelings of frustration and annoyance that creep in when critism starts.

My latest cooking attempt resulted in a Chili Mac Casserole...


It is official - I am heartless. I do not even shed a tear when cutting onions. Does everyone really cry while cutting onions? Because mine did not even come close to watering.

I love the fact that I do not have to "dress-up" for work. My biggest decision in the morning is which color staff shirt to wear, along with which tennis shoes to match it. What is even better is "casual day/weekends" when I get to wear my burnt orange shirt...(yes, it is really Texas orange!)


How is it that I can work almost 15 hours straight no problem, but as soon as I have 2+ hours of down-time, I get tired?

It was recently brought to my attention that Zyrtec can increase one's appetite. What the hell? If that is true, that would explain so much. Within the past 6 months, I have acquired quite the desire for food. On my long days, I can easily consume 5 full meals - Breakfast around 5 am, Lunch # 1 at 9 am, Lunch # 2 around noon, Dinner # 1 around 6 pm, and Dinner # 2 shortly after 9 pm.

inspiration.

Where do you look for inspiration?


I need to be inspired.

Gangster's Paradise.

When it comes to learning lyrics to songs, I suck. I do not have an ear for music, nor do I have the patience to listen to songs over and over again just to memorize the words. I do not have the patience, until my grade depends on it.

In 7th or 8th grade, I had a Reading teacher that thought it would be a great idea to teach her students Gangster's Paradise. Not only did she introduce the song to many, she made us all learn and recite the lyrics. How she integrated the song into that week's lesson plans, I do not remember. But I do vividly remember going around the classroom, one by one, so-called rapping the words for a completion grade.



To this day, I can still recite the song, word for word. I guess I did learn something in school...

Death ain't nothin' but a heartbeat away.
I'm livin' life do or die, what can I say.
I'm 23 now but will I live to see 24,
The way things are goin' I don't know.

They say I got to learn, but nobody's here to teach me.
IF they can't undersatnd, how can they reach me.

Good 'ole PISD at its finest.

good thing...

The other day at the drug warehouse, we processed over 340 prescriptions. That is a pretty busy day for a non-Monday. Out of the last 100 prescriptions, about one-fourth of them were for Tamiflu, be it the capsules or the liquid. It was crazy - families would come in with 4 or 5 scripts for the entire family.

Best quote of the year (thus far...): Guess the flu shot didn't work this year. Good thing I didn't get one.

Yeah, right...good thing, dumbass.

smartass.

Apparently, I am quite the smartass. So much of one that my manager has requested on several occasions to purchase a Smartass stamp (like one of our Fax or Copy stamps) so that he can use it across my forehead each and every time I say something smartass-y (which seems to be quite often...).

According to Urban Dictionary...

A person who, by means of purpose or not, uses sarcasm to have a laugh. A person who, on a regular bases, annoys the hell out of people with their sarcastic-attitude.

Someone who is sacastic, in a cutting yet witty manner. A person capable of making a remark that could be interpreted as a insult or a joke depending on the sensitivity of the listener and the specific situation. A smart ass is not necessarily a bad person just usually perceptive. ( For terms to refer to an offensive, cruel and asinine person see Jerk, Asshole , idiot, fool etc.)

Yes, I know some times my sarcasm could be taken down a notch or two, but seriously...it is all in good fun. Life would be so damn boring without smartasses. Do you not agree?

it is not a trust issue.

Never one to open up, I keep all things to myself - good and bad. Those who know me hopefully know that is how I am. Do not take it personally; it is not a trust issue. It is not that I do not trust you. It is not because the secret or thought is of sacred nature. Something as simple as, I had lunch at Olive Garden and then bought a badass pair of jeans for $60 is sometimes hard for me to share.

Your childhood shapes you. It does not determine the type of person you grow up to be, but it does lay the pieces down so that you can take a look at the possibilities of who you can be. Growing up, noone ever asked me how my day was. To say that noone cared would be presumptuous, so I will stick to the fact that the question was just never asked. Day after day events, big and small, would occur and never a second of those moments shared.

I will listen day and night, but it will take me those days and nights to share what others devulge so freely.


It is not healthy, I know. Slowly, I am working on trusting myself and painting the doors a more welcoming color.

appreciate the writers.

I still remember when reality shows first caught on. I remember wanting to find another hobby - watching TV just was not going to cut it any more. I picked up cross-stitching. Okay, I lie. But hell, I would choose cross-stitching over watching the bullshit that is reality TV. Sure enough, my television watching became non-existant. Since moving into my own apartment and paying $100 a month for cable TV and internet, I thought I would give TV-watching a try again. I sought out shows and found enough throughout the week to justify paying for cable and additionally, a DVR.

Months later, a tragedy disrupts my entire television routine. Who would have ever predicted the writers going on strike? It is a nightmare come true. As dramas and comedies slowly ran through their last few written episodes, all that was left to watch were game shows and reality shows. Just shoot me now.

Thank goodness for good quality soap operas that film 3-5 days worth each work day. Rumor has it that General Hospital is at least good through March. The bastard writers better be done bitching by then. And even if they are not, soap opera reruns may not be that bad. I have always wanted to go back in Port Charles time...witness the ever so popular Luke and Laura days.


Unfortunately, I am now all caught up on my soap and have resorted to watching almost anything. I only watched half of the first Terminator movie, and now find myself watching The Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. I gave in and watched Survivor this season. But honestly, it only peaked my initial interest because it was in China. I admit to fast-forwarding through most of it and only watching the challenges.

My channel loyalty has shifted to the CW, as it has been consistent in providing good quality (well, as good quality as teeny bopper shows go) television with cheesy as hell storylines. One Tree Hill has made its way back for a 5th season and despite Nathan's atrocious grooming issue, the show is just as good as before. In addition to One Tree Hill, CW has also put together another clever series: Gossip Girl. It is so good that I will overlook the fact that they have recently casted K-Fed on the show.



And then, of course, there is American Gladiators. But seriously, if the writers do not start writing again soon, I may see a future better spent training to become an American Gladiator contestant.

bubble bath.

I am not a bubble bath type of girl. Never have been, and never thought I ever would be. But if there were ever a night that taking a bubble bath would cross my mind...it would be tonight.

The thought of losing myself in a tub of bubbles. That is what I need.

I say I love my job - and I do. But there are times that do, in fact, drive me to drink. Lately, I have been overwhelmed with work. A fellow co-worker is on maternity leave until April, and I have been given the task of taking over her classes. What seemed like no big deal at the time, is proving to be much more work than I thought. Seems I may have taken on a little too much. And stubborn me is not good at asking for help.

(Oh, and it does not help that angry Asian men yell at me and accuse me of harrassment for no apparent reason. Stupid man.)

Though I have no idea what it is like for accountants during tax season, I can only imagine. I feel like now until April 7th will be my tax season. Three months of working day and night. Too bad my salary is no where near that of a CPA.

Friday Five.

Oh, what the hell...(I am bored and feel like writing on this thing...)

THINKING WARM THOUGHTS

1. What is your favorite hot beverage? Vanilla Americano
2. Describe your favorite hot food? New England Clam Chowder
3. What piece of clothing makes you feel warm and snuggly the moment you put it on? Any hoodie
4. Do you warm up your car on cold days? Do you run the heat all the time or just enough to defrost the windows? Yes, I warm up my car. No, I do not run the heat all the time.
5. What is your ideal warm-weather vacation spot? I do not have one.

shit, it's early.

And that, my friends, is what my alarm clock read this morning, and will read again tomorrow morning. With a co-worker on vacation, and another one on maternity leave, I have had to go to work even earlier than before. It is amazing what a difference 15 minutes makes. To be at work between 4:30 and 4:45 AM (ante meridiem), I leave my apartment around 4:20. Thankfully, I only take around 30 minutes to get ready, and I do not live far away.

What you may not realize is how much planning goes into working at such an early hour. In order to fulfill my Starbucks needs, I purchase my Iced (with no ice) Americano the night before - because the earliest any neighboring store opens is 5:00 AM. A lot of thought goes into meal preparation, as well. In addition to my morning waffles I take to go, I also scramble five eggs the night before (3 full eggs, 2 whites only). Reheating the eggs really is not as distasteful as it sounds. And then there is my 8 o'clock lunch (which if you think about it, 4 hours from the time I get to work...is lunch time). And then there is my noon lunch (because it is only natural to eat some sort of meal at this time of day). Food aside, I must also prepare my clothes for the day. Fortunately, the winters in Texas are bareable, and I only have to defrost my car once in awhile. Defrosting tacks on another 3-5 minutes in the morning.

As the time now reads 11:10 PM, I think it may be wise to start preparing for bed. This, in itself, is a challenge as I am not able to fall asleep before midnight regardless of what time my alarm is set for.

Goodnight room. Goodnight moon.

Super [shitty] Bowl.

Who the fuck wants to see the New York Giants play the undefeated Patriots in the game that decides the champion of the 2007-2008 NFL season? No one.

Sure, the Giants have won 9 (or whatever) in a row. More reason they have no chance in the Superbowl, because 10 in a row would just be unheard of.

The Packers have heart, and Brett Favre deserves to play for the ring before he has another concussion.

Give me three chances, and hell, I can make the game winning field goal, too.

If it were not for Brady, I would have absolutely no reason to watch the game.

The commercials better be damn good this year.

Honda love.

Prior to paying rent, my largest "big girl" expense was my monthly car payment. Years later, I am left with only three months' worth of payments. Three months. It will be nice having an extra $200 in my bank account each month.

On that note, lately I have been thinking about buying a new car. Everyone has heard me bitch about my car at one point or another. Whether it be the non-automatic locks ("lock your doors, please"), the non-automatic windows (thank goodness I finally decided to invest in a Tolltag), the zero to forty in what seems like 30 seconds, or all those times the curb has run into my car...everyone knows how much grief my car has given me.

Do not get me wrong, I am grateful for my car. If it were up to me, would I have chosen it? No. But I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I was in love with my first car - a hand-me-down Honda Accord. It was my love. It never got the drop or the spoiler I always wanted, but its engine won my heart...until I blew the transmission.

So, for three and a half years, I have been yearning for a Honda to fill that void.




Every one has their list of dream cars. Atop my list of the Mercedes-Benz SLK and the BMW Z4 Roadster 3.0si is the Honda S2000. But right behind them is the Honda Accord or Civic Coupe. I love the simplicity behind the car; the newer model look has completely won me over. But most of all, I love the way Hondas drive.

Knowing me, I will probably keep my Corolla for awhile. Hopefully along with a new look, my hubcaps bring take me and my car smooth sailing for awhile. All I wish for is a trouble-free car. For that, I will be grateful.

10 reasons why I work 2 jobs.

I can say to people who bitch about being tired, "Listen here, I have been working since 5 in the fucking morning and am working right now to service your whiney ass."

It is an excuse to spend 75+ dollars a month on Starbucks Coffee. (It used to be 100+ dollars...)

It keeps me out of trouble. (Well, less trouble...)

I am a workaholic. I do not get paid the big bucks; I really do enjoy working.


I have discovered a passion for drugs. (Ask me two years ago, and I would have never thought I would still be in the Rx world...)

I can wake up the next morning and find receipts adding up to a $200 bar tab and be okay with it because I know my next paycheck will cover it.

It keeps me on my feet - helps burn all the calories I consume in food and alcohol.

I can plan trips to Vegas and not feel too guilty about it. (Finally, Vegas in February!)

My full-time job alone does not help support my gluttonous lifestyle. (I am not high maintenance, I just do not hold back when it comes to food...and alcohol...)

It takes up another minute and a half of conversation when catching up with friends at so-called reunions.

spider monkey.

Finally, the much anticipated return of...the American Gladiators!



Just like the rest of America, I grew up with this show so you can only image the excitement when I heard they were coming back. Tonight's premiere lived up to the hype. Though hesitant about the new events, the competition proved to be just as good and the contestants in the first round made it even more exciting. I could not help but be proud of my people, as Venus and Mulli won. If the two of them make it to the Championship round, I may have to name my first born after them. (Do not hold your breath, little Venus will not make it past the next round, and spider monkey...well, just promise not to make fun of my child if his name is Mullivan.)

Watching the two hour episode brought back memories of the 90's when Ice and Zap were my favorite female Gladiators, and Nitro was my favorite male Gladiator. I am not sure these new Gladiators will win me over quite like the old ones did.


Mondays, 8/7 Central.

hello 2008.

No new year's resolutions this year. Not because I have no new goals set, but rather because each day I will strive to be better and do better. This statement seems vague and cliche, but it will have to do because a recited list of resolutions just does not seem to cut it. Each year the same things top my list, so either I am extremely consistent in my goals, or each year I fail at achieving the same damn things.

2007 was relatively good to me. It sure as hell beat 2006, and for that I am extremely grateful. I have a great job, in which I enjoy, the best co-workers, and a sister I love and appreciate more each and every day. Despite my headaches, I am blessed with good health and am fortunate to have the luxury of living comfortably on my own. Though things could be better, things could also be a whole lot worse.

Hello 2008.

Merry Christmas.

Someone must have thought I was somewhat of a good girl this year, because I actually had a pleasant Christmas this time around. Previous years have always been dreaded, and though this year started out no differently, it came around quite pleasantly.

Details omitted, the holidays were spent with those closest to me. It was a time of wonderful food and genuine laughter and smiles.

Starbucks is one of the ways to my heart. Thank you for all the gift cards, everyone.


Christmas Breakfast - My father makes the best crepes, ever! Mmmm!

most wanted - part 2.

Yes, part 2. Can you believe it - it happened again!

While at work, I recieved yet another peculiar phone call. This time it was the goverment trying to issue a subpoena for me to appear in court. The state was requesting my presence as a witness in court. You can only imagine my skepticism and frustration while returning this phone call.

Once again, after spending relentless minutes on the phone, I was able to convince the gentlemen that they quite possibly had the wrong person. I did not recognize the other party's name. I was not the one they were trying to contact. Again, I just happened to share the same name.

I do not know how many more instances like these I can handle.

Secret Santa.

The concept of a jolly fat man flying across the world with reindeers delivering presents while indulging in cookies and milk has always been beyond me ever since I was little. The fact that, even as adults, people play on this concept is entertaining. But hey, who am I to be a grinch.

Playing Secret Santa is always interesting because some people are spoiled by a creative, generous Santa while others are paired with a more clueless one. The great part about it all is that it reminds you that this time of year is about giving, not receiving, and above all, being thankful for everything around you.


Thank you, Secret Santa. Thank you for a fun week of candy, games, and gift giving.

from across the fucking world.

How the hell do my parents do it? From across the fucking world they can still create such problems? Seriously!

most wanted.

Apparently my life is to be spent running from the law. There is a poster with my face on it in every cop car.

As if getting pulled over and getting a ticket was not enough, I had to receive a phone call from the Denton County Deputy a day later informing me of a warrant for my arrest. You can only imagine my reaction to this...Shut the fuck up!

I immediately looked up the phone number to make sure the phone call was legit. Sure enough - Denton County Deputy Office. It was very much legit. Shit. I was wanted for a check written back in August of 2005 to Mr. Jim's pizza with insufficient funds.

I firmly explained to the Deputy that this is all beyond my league and kindly asked him to explain the logistics from the beginning. To which he replied, we can handle this one of two ways...one, I send someone to arrest you...or two, my favorite, you take care of this on your own and handle all fees owed.

Excuse me, but that implies that I am, in fact, guilty of the accused charges. So let me first explain to you that I never order pizza, and if I did, I would pay cash, not check. Secondly, I have never had Mr. Jim's in my life. Papa John's is my pizza of choice, in case you need to write that down. Thirdly, if I ever did write a check I would definitely have more than enough funds in my account - not enough to cover the cost of a pizza? Are you fucking kidding me?

A series of privacy questions followed, and an hour later he thanked me for my patience in the matter (did I have a fucking choice?) and said that he will keep in touch as he clears up the misunderstanding and finds the person he is really looking for. Same name, same date of birth.

just because you have a gun.

Just because you have a gun and your penis is smaller than your badge does NOT mean you can lecture me on my driving record.

Officer who pulled me over, all YOU need to be concerned about is the stop sign I just ran. Not the previous traffic violations, incidents, and classes I have taken in the past. Those incidents are in no way directly related to the matter at hand. You do not need to remind me of those times. You have no right to judge me. You were not there. You do not know what happened. It does not concern you.

Your job is to uphold the law so do so by writing up my damn citation and leaving me the fuck alone. It is not your job to tell me how I have wronged in the past. How dare you judge me. You see that one thing on my record and label me immediately. Someone ought to write your white ass up.

Fuck you.

worker's compensation.

Being 5'1" is dangerous, especially if you have a job which requires you to continuously reach for items on tall shelves. Inbetween each isle of drugs is a stool of some sort for me and another vertically challenged technician. While reaching for Celexa, which is atop the first isle of drugs, I had to use the assistance of a crate, our makeshift stepping stool.

On a normal day, and with cautious stepping, this crate would suffice and would help me reach the top shelves with no problem whatsoever. Yesterday, however, we were busier than our normal Sunday, and I hastily stepped onto the crate without looking. While reaching for the drug, I felt an inbalance below me and sure enough, the right side of the crate tipped, and I proceeded to fall.

The crate flipped, and I just happened to land right back on it - with my ass, and not my two feet. My right arm knocked the shelves of drugs, and bottles came falling on my head. It was disasterous.

Being the badass (and stubborn) person that I am, I shook it off and continued to work not realizing how badly I had just fallen. Little did I know that the next day I would not be able to sit on a toilet to urinate, let alone sit in a chair for eight hours at work.

Luckily, I did not fall directly on my ass, but rather somewhat to the side. It could have been a lot worse, in that I could have broken or bruised my tailbone. I still wish I could sit comfortably on the toliet though.


Above is a picture of the hand that broke my fall. The bandaid covering up flesh, as the shelf tore away some of my skin. Though you may not be able to see, it is also slightly swollen and turning a lovely shade of purple/green.


And this, my [very close] friends, is my fat, hairy ass. (I apologize for not putting a disclaimer on this entry but I figure only a few people know and visit this page.) All I have to say is...it hurts!

playlist this.

For the first time since last December, I took more than five days off work. Thanksgiving break was exactly what I needed - nothing too wild and exciting, just the right amount of fun and relaxation.

"Thank goodness you, and not some foreigner, answered the phone. What is with the foreigners there? I don't understand them. They don't understand me. And they sure as hell do not know what they are doing!" God, what would the world be like without honest and outspoken people? Rude, you say? Yeah, maybe - but hell, it is the story of my life at the pharmacy. Someone needs to send them back home.

Check out some of the artists on my current playlist: Silverchair, Shiny Toy Guns, Mika. A change in pace - kind of refreshing.

December already? Seriously? Crazy.

Romo, you are killing me. Do you not remember the last time you were with Jessica? Or how about when you were with Carrie? Let me remind you...


In March and April it is all about college basketball. In December and January, I look forward to putting my attention into college football, with conference and bowl games. This season has left me a bit disinterested. Not only did UT not perform as well as I had hoped, but several teams which deserve to be atop the BCS poll are not. LSU and Ohio State in the Championship Game? Really? Who wants to watch that?

My blood pressure was 90/62. I know high blood pressure is bad, but what about low blood pressure?

It is Secret Santa time again. Anyone have any good ideas? I need four small gift ideas, and then one larger gift for the last day.

As weeks go by, and more episodes are aired, I am beginning to worry about the effects of the writers' strike. Several shows are already in jeopardy. Many more will be airing reruns soon. What am I going to do? I just got back into television!

I like to take pictures of the dishes I make. It makes me feel like I am not completely useless in the kitchen.

Udon noodles.
(Credit for this one goes out to Fung who made me some in Austin and inspired me.)
Grilled Chicken. Rice. Broccoli.
(The chicken is a bit charred, I know.)

Austin bits.

Trudy's at last. Spoiled with good liquor, I had my Mexican Martini top shelf - Patron. It was delicious.

If I was taking apartment warming gifts, I would ask for a bong. While at the Hookah Lounge, I discovered an alternative relaxation treatment - smoking hookah while watching basketball. You have no idea.

Big dogs scare me. They hurt my boobs when they push off my chest.

Bars with live fish under the dance floor are amazing.


I never thought I would be bringing Britney back, but I did. You know you wish you could sing like me, Julie.

Formal was ridiculously long, but I am glad I decided to go this semester. Congratulations to all the girls. Hurray for being the oldest girl there. Thank goodness for hotel bars.

Gay club at last. This was quite the experience - Thank you, Tammy, for introducing me to your world of fun. The club was nice, the music was good, and some of the gay guys were ridiculously hot. Damnit.

Jello shots will never go out of style. Phuong and I whipped up some red and green ones in 10 minutes, and they were delicious.

Falling asleep at end of the bed never grows old.

West Campus has changed so much. Or should I say West Campus is in the process of changing so much! There was construction on every fucking corner. I honestly did not recognize the neighborhood when I first got there. Oh, and I found myself saying, "Back when I lived here..." God, I am getting old.

And what is a weekend with my Vivian without her Hook'em hand. Cheers to more weekends in Austin!

hangovers hurt.

Why do I never learn? I miss the days when I could drink shot after shot, beer after beer, and wake up the next morning only to do it all over again. No aftermath. I had no idea what a hangover felt like. Now I do.

Old age + an alcohol saturated liver = misery for hours.

Average time of recovery usually takes me to 8 pm the following day. A whole day spent nauseas and aching. It takes a definite toll on my body, and I pay the consequences. I do not have the option of spending the whole day wincing in bed. Shortly after calling it a night (when the bars close at 2 am), I have to wake up to go to work. Knowing damn well I have to work 11+ hours the following day, I still choose to drink like alcohol is going out of style. Let me tell you (in case you do not know...), it makes for a horrible work day.